The other day I was talking with my best friend Traves (the real Traves not his character in one of the stories). We were talking about this blog and I said something that led me up to saying "Oh because, remember that one time Pat looked into the Tiki Shack Cafe while Michele was in there making coffee and said "EEEEEEEEEEEWWW! You're groooooooss!!! Jerry and I are calling you gross Michele from now on. And I hate your face sooo much, you disgust me!" I told you about it, or were you there?" And he thought about it for a while then said "Wait...is this real or is this one of your stories you wrote? Holy s**t I don't know what's real anymore because of you!!!"
So, to make this a little more interesting for readers....
Remember these are FICTIONAL stories based on REAL stories and time periods of my life. Some parts of all of my stories are always actual events in my real life outside the story. And some parts are pure fiction. Some characters in the stories are real people who are still alive today. Some characters do not exist at all outside of the stories. Try to figure out what parts of the stories were real events or quotes from real conversations in my life, and not a part of the fictional story. Seven times a year I will randomly select 1 EVENT and 1 CONVERSATION from the stories you have read here and tell you if they are FACT or FICTION.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
It was a bright beautiful spring morning when the Queen of Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School woke up and had to pee really bad. So, she jumped out of bed running past two bathrooms on her way out of the house, jumped in her car and drove 14 miles to Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School where she passed another bathroom and peed behind Michele's classroom. (She later found out that when she stopped doing that there were bears coming to Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alt. H.S. and causing problems. So she emailed the teachers demanding a card stating, "Thank you Queen Shelby for your royal pee to keep the bears away, please come back and start peeing behind our classrooms again." In the mail, even to this day, the Queen has received a total number of ZERO cards from any of them about anything having to do with her coming back to school there.
To be continued in next post...
To be continued in next post...
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Just to clarify... As you can see by my google name YeshuaJeusIsLord777, I am a born-again Christian. These fictional stories loosely based on a real time period in my life as a teenager are stories I found in storage I have written, and will be copying as posts for readers. My friends then and now, even in ministry, have always suggested I publish my stories. The first story "How it all started" is nothing like the stories to come...it's just to bring reader's up to speed with the who, what, where of my stories I will start copying to this blog. To give you an idea of what to expect, they are kinda sorta similar to the Charlie the Unicorn cartoons on youtube, or an LSD trip... For other Christians, just a FYI. These are not stories offensive to the Christian faith or the Lord that will be posted. I was saved during this time of my life in high school, but struggled to let go of the addictions until I dealt with them as a sin of idolatry. And even in my messed up state, somehow God used me to lead other messed up teens I got high with to Salvation and deliverance through Jesus the Christ.
I don't remember what day it was, what the weather was like, or sure of my age at the time.... But it all started with an idea while sitting at my high school in class. I was trying to think of a way to freak out my teacher and thought, "Go to her house and rearrange her flower pots, but don't tell her or anyone about it. Just let her think someone came and tried to break into her house. Then when she realizes nothing is missing or damaged, she will not know what happened and why nothing is missing. And maybe wonder why someone would come to her house and do nothing but move her stuff around."
So, immediately I ruined it and said, "Michele, do you have flower pots on your front porch?" She looked confused and answered in a nervous tone "Yes..." Then I proceeded to tell her I wanted to go to her house and rearrange them. At that point I realized I had ruined the whole plan.
Frustrated with myself after ruining my idea, I left school and drove to Michele's house to rearrange her flower pots. There were two knocked over in her yard, but not in the right place that I put back up where they were. And then I went to her porch and switched two small pots.
Upon my return to Discovery I went to my teacher Suze's room to probably work on yearbook stuff. While I was in Suze's room talking with her Michele walked in and I told her I went to her house and rearranged flower pots. Michele laughed until I said that I almost put the two knocked over back where they were, but just put them up instead. She was like "Wait...you were at my house? You just said I have two knocked over in my yard, and I actually do." To which I replied, "Yes". Michele looked confused and said "Thank you?" then looked at Suze and left the room. Suze then said, "You went to her house?" I said "Yeah, I'm gonna go home to get a lawn chair, Bible, and lemonade and go back to her house to set up in her driveway and wait for her to come home. Suze looked away and said "That's creepy...just come home to a student loitering in your driveway, waiting for you cause they know where you live..."
And that's how it all started...
Other fictional character's in the adventures to come are:
Space Queen of Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School - That's me, the author of Adventures in What? With the Space Queen of Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School. Just your average, everyday student that most teachers forget because I never did anything wrong, was very obedient, and caused zero problems. ;)
Amanda - The Space Princess of Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School and best friend to the Queen.
Sammy - Student at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School. Best friends with Bologna Boy.
Traves - Rocker dude with long dark hair and a electric guitar who is best friends with the Queen. Student at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.
Jenn - Goth chick and best friend to the Queen. Student at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.
Chelsey - Fun, girly/preppy best friend to the Queen. Student at
Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.
Oinkmoo - Morbidly obese creature who is the principal of Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.
Rylann - A white stoner who may want to be black that likes to do gangster handshakes with Jerome.
Bologna Boy - Student at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School. Best friends with Sammy, Rylann, and Ashley.
Jerome - A pasty-white balding duchebag teacher at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School , who is concerned about being everybody's favorite teacher, but continues to fail miserably at it. Best friends with Traves, Rylann, Bologna Boy, and Big Gay Al.
Aurelia - The Queen's third favorite Teacher at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School. Definite psychopath, and probably also sociopath taddle tale who likes to tell on the Queen...who Aurelia insists is the Queen of Nothing.
David - A deranged individual who was engaged to the Queen after a crazy scheme to make Suze her mother-in-law actually worked. David mistakenly believes Aurelia (who doesn't even know him personally) is stalking The Queen because she wants to see his balls for no reason whatsoever.
Michelle - The closest person to a mom in the Queen's life and favorite Teacher at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School, the one with the flower pots the Queen moves around. She seems perfectly sane and normal until you piss her off...then she transforms into a loud, angry, irrational crazy person that sometimes breaths fire and causes the people she's screaming at to see short glimpses of the Gates of Hell.And is totally cool with everyone being high except for the Queen because, ....nobody knows why. She's a weird chick, saves garden weeds instead of pulling them "To see if they will grow as tall as my deck or taller." Yes, that's an actual real life quote from the real person this character is based on. There's is a story that goes with that event, but I'll save that for a later post of it's own. If she's made fun of to the point you think I hated her in a story, that's not the case at all. I love her so much that it's ok to.
Tom - The Queen's grandpa who teaches at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.
Naomi - Teacher at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.
Oscar - Teacher at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.
Big Gay Al - Not the one from South Park. No, this is the fabulous best friend of The Queen, Jenn, Traves, and Jerome..
Susy - The Queen's dearly loved and most favorite Teacher at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School that steals beer from hobo's living in her woods in tarp shacks, then walks home to make beer bread with it. When questioned on her act of stealing from hobo's, she justified it by saying "It's ok, I washed it off in the sink first." And describes parasites taken out of her that she got from third-world country visits as "wonderful" and "beautiful"...Again real quotes from the real person behind the character....unfortunately.
Glorya - Teacher at Discovering Very High Misfit Children Alternative High School.